The Face of the GOP: So Fucking Old

Meet one of Wisconsin’s sad excuses for a congressman, Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner, Jr., poster boy for a political party that is out of touch: out of touch with technology, out of touch with morality, and out of touch with the physical world around them.

When confronted by one of his constituents at a recent town hall event regarding the roll-back of policy that prevented Internet service providers from selling their customers’ browsing history to third parties, Sensenbrenner responded as follows:

“Nobody’s got to use the Internet.”

Then, to further illustrate his point, the congressman continued with a few more unintelligible comments that were equally uninformed:

“The fact is that, you know, I don’t think it’s my job to tell you that you cannot get advertising for your information being sold. My job, I think, is to tell you that you have the opportunity to do it, and then you take it upon yourself to make that choice.”

Huh? But wait, he continues on:

“That’s what the law has been, and I think we ought to have more choices rather than fewer choices with the government controlling our everyday lives.”

Yeah, okay grandpa, sure you got me. It’s true that nobody has to use the Internet – in the same way nobody has to use electricity. Or indoor plumbing. Or telephones. Or banks. Or food free of pesticides. Or highways. Or airplanes. Or clean water. Or clean air. Yes, Rep. Sensenbrenner, you ancient, fat, fuck, no one is forced to use any of those things.

But for those of us that live in the year 2017 and not the year 1875, those things all represent the basic necessities that we have sent apparently ignorant, useless, cock-suckers like you to congress to fucking regulate for our fucking protection so we can all get on with our lives without having to worry that we’re going to be poisoned in our own homes or electrocuted or blown up on our toilets or dragged screaming down an airplane aisle or otherwise cheated out of our hard-earned money.

Attention all congressional republicans: regulation is not the anti-Christ. Calm the fuck down.

We send you stupid fuckers to Washington to enact laws that protect us. We send you there to create regulations that protect us. We don’t have time to do this ourselves. We are trying to make a living, raise kids, take care of parents, get our teeth cleaned, do the laundry, make dinner – we’re kind of busy. That’s why we vote every few years to send a few of us to represent our interests. Seems like a few of the dumber ones have lingered on too long.

Have you fucking forgotten the whole reason that we sent you to congress in the first place? Wake up Sensenbrenner, it’s time to clean out your desk and go on home to Crabapple fucking Cove or wherever it is you come from. Get your shawl out, tune your radio into the latest tunes from Benny Goodman and dream about the good old days when women didn’t want to wear pantsuits and colored folk weren’t so uppity.

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